Hello My Friends!
My name is Herb-B and I am a ferocious, no-nonsense, kind of guy! I weigh in at an impressive 11 pounds, my mom says that six of those pounds are comprised of fat but my mom has no idea what kind of power I actually poses. I am eleven pounds of terrifying, viscous, crazy, powerful brown Chihuahua! That is correct CHIHUAHUA.
You may think you know Chihuahua's, cute cuddly little balls of fur hidden in their mommies purses, sleeping in fur lined beds, prancing about the park in diamond studded collars. Well YOU DO NOT KNOW ME!
I have never worn a diamond collar (mom and I are currently in talks regarding the furry one I am adorned with at the present time). I do have a furry bed but the joke is on you because I almost never sleep in it, I sleep with mom right by her head and I certainly do not hide in my mommies purse. If anything I boldly extend my head out to the world, I am Herb-B master of my pack, ruler of my home, the first to eat, and the last to poop!
I am known on the street as "Big Sexy" "Thug Life" and "O-Cho". My lady friend is a Mastiff-Lab mix, and she knows that I do have a tender side, but all others quiver when I approach.
At home I am the leader of my pack (they are a totally lame pack to be in charge of but I am in charge non-the less).
I came to have the roll of pack leader when my older brother Hugh the Dog the mighty and giant Lab who led us all with power and dignity passed away. I took on the roll of pack leader and I hope that everyday I make Hugh the Dog proud.
Henry Ford, he is the oldest member. He was once a mighty Chihuahua but now sometimes he forgets things, mom says he is kind of like a grandpa who sometimes showers with his underpants on. None the less I protect Henry Ford as though he was my own father and I give him the respect any 14 year old dog deserves.
Hooper is the youngest member of my pack and has only recently joined us. Formally a fighting dog Hooper is just a touch, how should I say, "fruity". Mainly he just runs around and cries and chews on toys. He is not the smartest of Chihuahua's but what he lacks in brains he makes up for in undying loyalty to me!
Finally there is Rampage. I would rather not tell you about him (he is not a chihuahua at all but some kind of mid sized mixed breed mutt). If it were up to me I would toss Rampage out but Hugh the Dog loved him, I have no idea why. He isn't very smart and he is forever getting us all into trouble. I have had numerous talks with mom about sending him to Alabama where we have "family" but currently he continues to live with us (I plan on peeing on him later tonight).
I have much to tell you my friends. Every day of my life is a grand adventure. I would tell you all about it right now in fact but first I have to poop.
Herb-B (aka Leader of the Pack)